Hindi ako masiyasdong productive sa office.
Gusto ko na nga umuwi.
I still have 1 hour and 20 minutes till uwian.
Nag iisip na ako ng excuse sa kasama ko para umuwi ng maaga.
My boss left an hour ago, and I know he’s not going to call.
Gusto ko na umuwi at manood ng ………..
The walking started a week ago and has been a daily routine of mine. It helped with a lot of things. It cleared my mind of the stress from a failure in the affairs of the heart which I do not want to divulge anymore, because I do not want to relive it another time. And it especially cleared my head of the stress that my Cyber bully has caused.
But let me narrate what happened the week of walking in Corniche that I had:
Day One: I wore jogging pants and a t-shirt expecting I would be sweating (wrong !!!) Dead wrong kasi the air was still cold and it was windy. So instead of sweating, I shivered everytime I slowed down or stopped. I noticed everybody else had headsets on, ay teka why didnt I think of that? I felt like a stranger in a new place and thought that I wasn’t one of them. I walked too slow.
Day Two: Eto na – Jogging Pants (Tsek), Sweatshirt (Tsek), Headset (Tsek) feeling ko belong na ako, pero everybody else were still walking faster than I was, and then I realized it. The beat of the music in my player was slow. Kasi when I was listening to “The Club Can’t Handle me” I was walking faster and my heart was thumping loudly, adrenaline ito !!!
Day Three: Belong na belong na ako. Check na lahat pati playlist ko edited na. Namumukhaan ko na ang regulars and those who were just relaxing in the park. Some even smiled at me dahil baka nakikilala na nila ako from jogging. Uy regular na ako.
Day Four: Since it was a weekend, I was expecting a crowd. Tama ako. The park was overflowing with people. Some were picnicking, some were taking pictures, some relaxing by the water. I even saw and waved to a few people I knew. Pero like the other regulars I just walked by and didn’t stay to chat.
Day Five: After four days of seeing the park overcrowded with people, it was so refreshing to finally see the park quiet and belonged to the joggers/walkers only. Ngayon kilala ko na ang regulars, namumukhaan ko na sila at steady na ang pace ko. But I’m just walking, I do not think I will ever Level Up to running or jogging, masiyadong high impact naman yata for me?
Day Six: At home na ako. But ngayon ko na realize I need new running shoes. Sad pero ginamit ko pa rin. I’m going to have to use my other rubber shoes for walking tonight. And I’m planning on trying wearing shorts for Day 7.
A few days ago, a friend told me that someone I knew from a group I belonged to was spreading tsismis about me via his facebook page. I quickly checked what it was knowing that he was a friend in facebook, but as it turns out he has unfriended me. Hence that is why I didnt see the post when he published it.
My first reaction was “Why?”
My second question was “Is this what they call Cyber Bullying?”
I spent a sleepless night and pondered over things for a day. Reactions of friends who knew were mixed, some wanted me to shrug it off, some wanted me to comment on the post to clear my name, some wanted me to have a dialogue with him face to face.
But just last night I have made my decision. I have made clear to myself that I came here to this vast dessert rich with oil to work. I joined the group for spiritual reasons. It is not included in my priorities to indulge in childish and shallow rumor mongering. But I also do not want to give my Cyber Bully the satisfaction that he has affected me. I have decided to shrug off the issue and to just ignore it.
Hindi ko kailangan ng stress. And besides SAYANG ANG EDUKASYON.
The day of my operation, hindi naman ako masiyadong kabado. May konting kaba I admit pero not that much. I knew I was going to be under General Anesthesia, my anesthesiologist assured me that I would be asleep and not feel a thing. I had friends who were with me so they would surely take care of me, and I prayed hard. So I know God would guide me through this.
Here’s an account of what happened:
This is Friendship Bernard and Me when we arrived at the hospital.
Hinihintay pa namin na ma-ready ang room.
Si Ding – siya ang naghatid sa akin sa hospital.
This is near the Nurse’s station where they took my height and weight.
When we got in the assigned room, nagpa picture agad si Bernard sa kwarto.
Nauna pa kesa sa akin.
An Indian nurse came and got my Blood Pressure.
Ayaw magpatalo ni Bernard, siya din daw.
With matching photo documentation.
After a short while, a Filipina nurse came. Lalagyan niya na daw ako ng IV
First try, palpak. Lumobo or something. Hindi naipasok sa tamang nerve.
Dahil nga palpak sa first try. Nagtawag ng reinforcement si Ate.
Another tusok na naman. Traumatized na ako.
Si Kuya unang try, pasok!
Pinagbihis na ako ng pink na gown.
Question ko, kapag sa Operating Room na ba, wala akong underwear?
Uyyyy na shy naman ako………..
Dumating na si Friendship Rommel from the train statiion.
Wacky daw !!!
Paano ako magmo moment nito?
Eh ang iingay nila?
Eto na ang last kong matinong picture.
Kasi soon after this was taken, sinundo na ako for the Operating Room.
This was taken when they brought me back to my room from the Operating Room.
Nawala na ang aking Pag Asang maging Outpatient lang.
They asked me to stay the whole night for observation.
Ang mga supporters – Richard, Lito and Mike.
Konting katahimikan, at last……
This was Wednesday night.
Thursday I was discharged.
And 2 days after. The new and improved me.
Parang hindi naman nga eh? Bandage lang ang nadagdag.
Pumasok na rin ako sa office. Dyahe naman kasi kung mag off ako. And besides I felt that I was ok so there was no need for me to stay at home.
This is it.
This is really is it na talaga.
I’m undergoing Arthrocentesis Operation tommorow.
Wala nang atrasan ito.
First time naman kasi in my life.
And I never for one second thought I would need it. When I first started going to the doctors to have my TMJ checked, I never thought I would ever have to undergo surgery. Akala ko bibigyan lang ako ng dental splint or maybe botox shots or baka painumin lang ako ng pills? Pero since the doctor said I needed the surgery and my insurance covered it anyway. So payag na rin ako. Pagkatapos kong magtiyaga sa MRI machine for 35 minutes na hindi gumagalaw? Ngayon pa ba ako aatras?
Pero Im scared. (I just dont show it, but I really am)
I joke about it. (But deep inside I’m terrified)
If you don’t see any other posts after this………..
I’ll just see you on the other side.
After waiting for 2 weeks for the approval of my insurance to come, I grew impatient. Hindi naman ako excited na magpa opera, I just wanted to know what was happening? Why hasn’t the hospital called me yet? So I decided to call the Insurance Company to try to inquire. To make the long and irritating story short, the insurance company approved the request for an arthrocentesis, but sent the approval to another branch of the hospital, at another city actually.
After sending the approval to the right hospital, the hospital called and said that the request was approved (surprise surprise) asked me again to come for a Pre Operation something something, so I went. They took samples of my blood, and checked my weight, blood pressure, height, medical history etc etc etc. They explained how the procedure was going to be done and what to expect.
And they gave me this along with a bunch of other stuff
Good luck sa akin.
My friends have been joking who I’m dating at Valentine’s Day, and my reply would be always “Mag isa lang ako ng Valentine’s”. Seems my answer doesn’t please them so may follow up question pa rin. “Bakit hindi kayo magkasama ni PJ?” (PJ is the latest crush) and what about the one we met in the coffee shop? (kahit ilang pressure nila sa akin, ang taga coffee shop is just a friend).
This year I’m alone at Valentine’s – alone but not Lonely.
I admit, I’m totally inggit sa mga couples who are celebrating Valentine’s Day. But I’m not asking anybody out to dinner just for the sake of having a Valentine’s Date. I haven’t reached that State of Desperation yet. And besides, hindi nga ako sure if ever PJ would say yes if I ask for a dinner date. Baka mamaya huminde, eh di napahiya pa ako. Kawawa naman ako. Si Coffee Shop Buddy naman nagsabi na mag off daw siya ng Valentine’s Day. Sabi ko lang ahhhh. With a pause. Then I changed the subject.
Being alone, doesn’t have to be lonely naman di ba? I have movies to watch, laundry to do, carpet that needs vacuuming. Naghihintay ang recently downloaded Randy Blue Library to be watched. Ay wag pala, baka lalo akong mangulila. Change tactics, mag rosaryo na lang pala ako.