I thought I was experienced.
I thought I was numb.
I thought I was used to it.
Now I feel dumb.
I have no right to ask.
I have no right to pry.
But it still hurts like hell.
But I don’t have the energy to cry.
I’m not exactly a saint.
And I have had my fair share.
I shouldn’t complain.
But it still hurts.
I don’t think I’m good with poetry. I was just inspired to write this as a form of therapy for my slight depression. My heart has been stomped upon again. Does this ever end? Is there ever a happy ending for me?
Mingle2 – Free Online Dating
Ok na rin, I would’ve liked to post that I got 100%. But this is ok. try the Spellcheck Test yourself and find out.
And while were on the subject, well I really would’ve preferred to have this as another post, but I just can’t resist it. The thing is, I get irritated, and sometimes laugh at someone who has bad grammar. Okay, I know I’m a terrible terrible person for being like this. And I know I am not an authority on grammar. But I also know that I am far better than other people I read.
Sometimes its the basic spelling. This happened recently. I was reading a friend’s blog and clicked on one of his links. Well I knew whose link it was, I know him personally so I checked out what he had to say. I was totally shocked! I always thought that he was smart, but what I found was a bunch of mispelled words (cringe cringe) and badly constructed sentences. Big surprise for me, and now I think less of the person because of this. (this is just me ok)
Oh my….. I hope I don’t offend people by with this. But for me, correct grammar also reflects a person’s intellect. How you construct your sentences shows how you think. I know I’m not perfect, and I am no authority. And the blogging world is not a place for perfection. I just wanted to get that off my chest. I’m not being high and mighty about this, its an opinion. And besides I moderate my comments anyway. Hehehehehe.
Does anyone agree with me?
Third Party, Other Woman, Mistress. All referring to the same person. Moi. I was that person. But I’m not and I never will be anymore. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can judge me any way you want. But I never wanted to be the Third Party. I never wanted to get entangled in a web of deceit and betrayal.
When I first thought of this post. I wanted to give out names. That would be fun right? Maybe even aliases. But it would be both unethical and ill mannered to do that, so I changed my mind and instead decided to leave out details, of myself alone.
We have an image of Third Parties as bitching, conniving, deceitful people. And they are considered as the villain. But that is a myth. I never thought that I would be Third Wheel, never in my wildest dreams! I hated people like those, but I became one of them. Not once, not twice but three times! It was funny and sad as well.
I didn’t want to be a Third Party. I didn’t want to ruin somebody else’s relationship, may it be blooming or otherwise. I believed in Karma. Do unto others what you want others to do unto you, I believed in that.
I was a Third Party, not by choice, but a victim of circumstance.
Do you believe me?
I was just in the elevator with someone who worked in the same floor. He really reeked! Grabe! I think he hasn’t bathed for months? I regretted riding the elevator with him. The stench was just so overpowering! Unwelcome odors were coming up my nostrils. I couldn’t cover my nose right then and there. I just did what i thought was the best thing I can do at that moment. I just stopped breathing. And prayed to God that the door would open soon.
Don’t you just hate awkward moments? Like when you see someone waving frantically at you and approached you while you were with a friend. “Hi! Kumusta na? Uy ang taba mo ha?” What can you say to that? And the worst thing is, he is hinting that you introduce him to your friends and you don’t know what his name is! Hahahahaha
Or when you really need to pass gas. And you’re in an elevator? Or a crowded restaurant, while in deep conversation with your companion. And you really feel that it’s a big one. Big, loud, and smelly. What do you do? Or when an ex of your friend flirts with you and asks you out. In front of your friend! My my my, that would be so awkward. When these things happen. My best advice is just do what I do. I hold my breath and wait for the door to open.
What would you do?
Remember when we were younger, people would sometimes tease us “Uy sino ang kamukha mo? Mommy or Daddy? At first I didn’t know how to respond to those questions, then I got the trick, I would always say “Kamukha ko si Daddy” (if he was with me) or “Kamukha ko si Mommy” (if she was with me). It worked most of the time. I’m sure if I said something else, then it wouldn’t cause a big issue. I got away with a lot of things when I was a child. I was cute. And I was the bunso. So I was untouchable.
Now that I think about it, I really think that I look a lot like my Mom. But I have developed some habits of my Dad too. Although I sometimes talk like my Mom, I surprise myself sometimes when I try to analyse the things I say. Grabe, I sound a lot like my Mom. We try to be our own individuals, especially me, I’ve tried consciously to steer clear from my parent’s shadow. But is what they say true “Do we really turn out to be what our parents are?”
I guess its inevitable. We have our parents genes. You cannot deny genes. No matter how long I stay in the beach, I will still go back to being fair. I fear Diabetes, as it runs in my Father’s Side of the family. I got my Mom’s love for the arts. I would’ve loved to inherited her equestrian skills, as she used to be an equestrienne during her youth. Kaya lang, the nearest I’ve gone to a horse is the kabayo of a plantsa.
We as children, are sometimes called an improvement or a better version of our parents. I sure as hell would like to believe that. But I admit that my Mom was far smarter than me when she was in College. And my Dad is far better than me in Mathematics. I guess I have other skills. Blogging maybe?
Do you think you’re a better version of your parents?
First duty during Ramadan.
Bawal mag yosi sa office. Understandable, but irritable.
Bawal magkape sa office. I know pero that doesn’t stop me from complaining.
The pantry has a lock for anyone who wants to have a drink. Pero hindi naman nagdeliver ng tubig?
Second shift. Pumasok ako, in office attire, only to find out that everybody else was wearing casual.
Bawal kayang manapak kapag Ramadan?
Umulan nung Thursday, I don’t mean rain in the literal sense of the word. I mean umulan ng bisita sa bahay. Buti na lang magaling ako sa proper time management. And scheduling ofcourse.
Pagkatapos akong hindi siputin ni R. Hindi rin ako sinipot ni M. Hay naku, hindi ko sila pinroblema. Marami silang excuses eh di fine. Bitter ako for a short while only. Inaway ko rin sila, pero kasama talaga yon sa script. Pero last Thursday, gusto kong magsisisigaw sa highway ng Corniche, kaya lang walang mga sasakyan, parang isang malaking Ghost Town ang Alkhobar, sarado ang everything at halos walang mga sasakyan sa kalsada. Naghimala dahil tumawag si M, at pupunta daw siya sa balay. Eh di nag abala na ako agad agad, linis, vacuum, punas punas at namalengke. Ang press release ko sa kaniya, mag cook ako ng Sinigang, pero dahil kulang na sa time magpalambot ng beef, I opted to cook Chicken Adobo instead.
Sa wakas, nakarating din si M sa bahay ko. Matagal ko nang hinintay ito. Enjoy naman kami together during lunch. And then we watched a movie afterwards, siguro napagod siya sa shift, hindi ko napansin, tulog na pala siya! Hahahaha. Umalis si M, madilim na ang paligid, pero wala pa ring tao sa kalsada. Ganyan ang ambience dito kapag Ramadan, walang people sa labasan, pero after the last prayer, dagsa naman ang people until the wee hours of the morning. Masaya ako that M, came and stayed a long time.
Ang nakakabaliw eh, after M left, siguro after 30 minutes or so, R called naman. Kung nasa bahay daw ako? Kung puwede ba daw siyang pumunta? Aba, aba, aba. Araw ba ito ng pagpaparamdam? Well, since na medyo okay pa ako, at hindi pa pagod sa mga pangyayari, sabi ko Go Go Go. At parang hindi yata siya masiyadong excited, after 15 minutes aba nandun na daw siya sa labas, open sesame na daw the door. Buti na lang mabilis akong mag fresh. Kaunting suklay at powder eh gorgeous na naman ako Hahahahaha.
Unlike M, R stayed only for a short while. Siguro mga 50 minutes lang siya nag stay. May pupuntahan pa daw siya. Okay lang naman din sa akin dahil late na rin at pagod na rin ako. And besides HP na ako. Success ang Thursday ko. Umulan ng biyaya. Hahahahaha. When it rains, it pours …………………..
Pero ang parting question is? Should I feel guilty?